3-17-15
It dawned on me after writing my last blog entry that, as I suspected, there is no way Ill be able to write my experiences in any kind of chronological order)..Not only because some are connected to things that have happened much later in life, but because somehow my doing it this way is lacking..I’m not sure but it feels too much like a list…so Ill just have to go with the flow and write experiences as things come to mind. I should have just followed that initial instinct..:)
One of the things I wanted to write about today is… How do you feel? We all say that during our experiences we we’re either scared senseless or the other end of the spectrum feeling an overwhelming feeling of love..But what I am talking about is the over all feeling about your experiences. I have mostly felt confusion and a deep sense of helplessness. I have never seen a solid being or remember being on a craft (Though I have seen one and watched it for a long time)..I have had missing time.. run ins with Shadow beings and once I woke to something, that I could not see, pulling me right out of my bed. I have woken with scars, scratches, scoop marks, bruises, burns, eye burns and puncture wounds. I have found my underwear on inside out and backwards and have even had my hair cut while I slept. As I said I have had run ins with shadow people, woke up from a sleep going about 5 miles an hour while driving on a highway., so you can imagine my frustration at never consciously being able to face the entities, forces or beings that I yet feel so connected to. I could live with that and never question if it were just about me, but my biggest frustration lies in that I feel I have a duty to pass on the truth..which I know is **Things are Not What we have been Told**..but then..What is the truth?
I don’t want to be a real downer or for you to think I’m maudlin, I’m not..My life turned out fun..or maybe amusing is a better word, and in spite of the nature of my experiences..I cherish every one of them. So if you don’t mind my asking..How do you really feel?..In relationship to the world.?.Do you feel your experiences have anything to do with the current state of the world and humans as a whole? Do you feel it as a personal journey, or do you feel like legion? As humans are we just coming into our own, or are we just pawns pieces in a game of Grand Deception?
Just Wondering?
Hi Synch — yep — nothing is as it seems to our 3D sense perceptions — and — what we have been “told” via our schools, our church, our scientists, our medical practitioners, our teachers, our corporate structures, our so-called ‘experts’, our social consensus programmings etc etc etc — has been at best totally INCOMPLETE and at worst — a pack of insideous lies, manufactured history and obscured mythology (and everything in between.)
But — we are all in the same boat on that . . . and a large part of this process of ‘waking up’ and becoming mindful really makes us to start realizing that as never before.
To all of us, this is (to varying degrees) a real “kick in the pants.” Plus, at times, it is a bit . . . disorienting and confusing not to mention downright strange.
Comfort and understanding from other beings is a real help.
That is why we are here.
Peace to you . . . and . . .
namaste,
Roy
I wish I could express the feelings as eloquently as TNT and nestingwave. How am I feeling? Like I’ve been kicked in the pants! You are right that things certainly do not seem to be as we were told they were.
So . . . how am I feeling? Of course, we are speaking here about our ET and/or paranormal experiences, phenomenological encounters, space–time warps, cosmic syntheses, aha’s, etc. How is it effecting us?
hmmmm . . . the short answer is: (from my personal perspective of course) like a multidimensional jigsaw puzzle being gradually assembled piece by piece — but this is happening FROM THE INSIDE OUT. And — it is happening under the direction and direct mentorship OF OUR HIGHEST SELF which only appears on the most outer surface to be exterior “supernatural forces.”
IT IS US and WE ARE REALLY ONE IN OUR COREMOST ESSENCE. There is only ONE MIND and CONSIOUSNESS throughout the entire Omniverse — and we, you and I and ALL beings, are like snowflakes — expressing that ONE MIND but in countless unique creative aspects of our individuality.
We are presently in the process of recovering our memories after having voluntarily undergone — for thousands upon thousands of years — a Great Cosmic Inquiry on behalf of ALL beings and bioforms throughout the Omniverse to further discover certain operational details. This investigation is only one phase of an ongoing inquiry into HOW BEST to expand and grow ever perfecting consciousness toward the continual unfolding of ever more creative ARTFUL means to engender energetic interface and GROKING toward ever-increasing communication and understanding between, among and through all Lifeforms. You see — ALL of our thoughts, skills, actions and lessons which we are learning go directly into Gaias Akasha as a permanent record which can always be openly accessed by any and all other beings throughout the Ominiverse. What we are learning here is freely given away to the entire Creation.
Perhaps before expanding a little on that one I should say how I am NOT feeling?
First of all — in no way do I feel like I have EVER been a victim. I — and I believe you also — volunteered for this long mission of countless lifetimes.
Although the following thoughts have, upon occasion, been a part of the drama of my creative imagination — to me they have proven themselves to be totally empty of truth.
Night terrors, raw, stark FEARS, vivid concerns over possible fatal predations, sweats about becoming a possible predaTEE or a zombified will-less automaton unable to communicate in lucid sentences or . . .? But . . . like you . . . I too have continually seen throughout my entire life (since 1942) the continual and inescapable media mind-control of “RUN FOR YER VERY LIVES!!!!”. We LOVE horror movies because they are fixating and EXCITING motivators to exercise our creative abilities — and even our super-human strengths. We get a stimulating adrenalin rush and push toward spontaneous salvatory creative action. It can make each one of us a temporary jazz musician of the temporal micron. heheheh
I found out, however, that there is a much better way to stimulate our creative abilities — a way to stimulate not only our own personal creative abilities but to release a living principle which flows right on over to the whole environment and any being who partakes of it. And — that is a Cosmic VISION which is always flexible and open to expansion and is continually aligning further and further with the Divine intention of Creation. It is DYNAMIC to say the least because it is backed and supplied via INFINITE ENERGY AND INTELLIGENCE.
Simply put — this Divine Vision is to UPLIFT, HEAL, BLESS, ENCOURAGE, COMFORT, MENTOR, APPRECIATE and RESPECT ALL LIFE and to do so with profound COMPASSION, MERCY and JUSTICE in ALL Life’s myriad of forms. This is our purpose and mission and we are now about to graduate Kindergarten and build a hitherto unseen Galactic Civilization which has in great part been spawned by our voluntary participation in the Great Inquiry which has been occurring on Gaia. We ARE more than any of us ever imagined even in our wildest speculations.
namaste,
Roy
Hi Again Troy,
With you being a man who understands cats Im sure you are aware of the parasitic nature of Toxoplasmosis. ..Is this what we are talking about?..or
Archonic Energies?
Heres a fabulous TED Talk by Ed Yong
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfqO1U6lfDs
Reading your post I absolutely thought **As above So below** before I actually got to the line where you actually state that…I just have to tell you that what you wrote is exactly what my partner and I had been discussing yesterday morning over coffee.
In my life I have lamented so much over eating meat (I tried to be a vegetarian but I just couldnt do it..and I really tried.) ..or even fruits and vegetables picked by those who suffer because they work back breaking jobs for 16 hours in the fields dont even get a living wage..almost everything we do is somehow based on a parasitic situation. In trying to be a good person we still put out or ingest energies from all around us …HHHMMMM
I really need to think about what you said..especially the part about the ships and the transfer of enegies..I have a busy day today..but really would love to talk more about this..and mostly about where it leads? Is there peace at the end of the energy rainbow so to speak?
Have a great day
I need to clarify that the way I wrote that first paragraph about Olly is incorrect. I should have said, the next day we discovered that at about the time I burst into tears that night was about when the paper said Olly had committed the act of suicide. It wasn’t the next night as it appears in the first paragraph. It was the next night we discovered it when phone calls came and the paper was read. I somehow in my mid life find that my fingers are skipping words now and again leaving things out and a couple are missing from my paragraphs. Sorry. Great topic tho and thanks for bringing it up.
I read some of my blog and cry. I wonder where it comes from at times. I’ve looked at it from a lot of angles and it seems to either feed or provide entertainment, perhaps some of both. I see real time the fight or flight built into the garden to produce shock and awe as well as feed so if we say the dragon consumes its own tail, and assume the dragon is the ‘one’ and only organism behind all this we can see then the rest. The rest being all the various aspects of the one, fingers of the waking consciousness of the one if you will including us but not limited to us by any means. As we grow we feed, on the energy all other beings also need and feed on in various ways. It may appear the cat gains some pleasure from the torture of a mouse but some theorize it makes the mouse taste better or provide some other stimulant otherwise not as abundant when consumed.
If we take this as it appears it seems to stimulate us or any life by emotion and using said emotion as the dial, well, we have a way of controlling the taste or frequency of the meat or energy produced. This scenario appears to be universal. When we are on the ships and the cones come down over us it makes most of the people scream.. Horrible screams at times and yet they continue on and I think they must be either reading or tweaking or gaining something in the way of either knowledge or energy. If the mass media was nothing else it is an efficient tool to spread shock and awe to promote stimulus to the masses to produce great abundance of this energy. We in the mean need the energy also and feed on cattle, or deer, or elk or pig, or some other such thing be it chicken or some other meat but with each ingestion we have hgt or horizontal gene transfer of the animals we eat but we gain life energy to live so we ourselves can continue on. We are not exempt from this hunter prey situation tho we just think we are at the top of the food chain.
If we really think about it we the aspects of the one die off but new fingers grow as we reproduce to even tho the one feeds on itself, it constantly reproduces before it can eat itself off to die so it just lives on and on and on like this perpetual motion machine.
Now that I have said it, imagine that someone smart somewhere figured out to make a mini universe kind of like the one in “Men in Black” and that the true source of the info here in this movie is that the ships are alive. They are their own eco system of life, or a bio life form of sorts that the people on board live in in some sort of symbiotic relationship. I’ve thought to myself that the entire moon is just like the earth only reverse like its inside out. So the populace is on the inside. I’ve also thought that the ships, such as the moon ship and perhaps other planet like life ships feed on the sun and that these various orb beings can have multiples of other ‘aspects’ or fingers to them just to follow that same thought of as above so below. For whatever reasons tho the bio energy we organic life forms produce seems to revolve, at least in this cycle it seems to revolve around shock and awe, panic, and that kind of other stress type emotion.
Someone told me once if God got really bored he’d start pinching himself really hard! Perhaps we’re at that pinch point where we finally say collectively, ‘OUCH!’
Hi Troy..Thanks for answering 🙂
I agree with some of what you are saying especially about consenting on some level and also on the screen memory concept. I really want to believe that I consented because..well.. what would be the alternative? I too, take my recall with a grain of salt ( On a night my room was flooded with orange light I just knew a School bus outside my bedroom window..problem is..my bedroom is on the second floor! But I would have sworn it :)) I also agree with the levels of learning or classrooms in that each person is here to learn that thing that they most need to to go forward and I believe many of the obstacles in my life have been a lesson, but what Im not so sure of is what this has to do with my para experiences as opposed to spiritual experiences. I take it personally when I am bruised, poked or burned especially when I cannot face the entity that did this. I very much hold the belief of the late Dr Karla Turner, that hurting and / or confusing us makes no sense from a loving galactic standpoint…and believe me when I tell you I am a bit confused..LOL.. Not just about the physical things, but if you are going to do this to me…the why have me forget it..
This in no way means that I do not honor and believe that each persons experience is theirs to live and learn from..and I am always joyful to hear of those with wonderful or loving experiences.
From your answer and reading some of your blog I see that you are a very kind and very empathic person 🙂 Do you attribute this to your experiences and / or teachings from your guardian..or from those experiences you have had. Does your guardian explain some of these experiences to you?
Thank You again for sharing with me..
Wow TNT. Beautifully illustrated and communicated.
I came in with an ultra sensitivity toward animals of all kinds. I was also ultra sensitive to almost anything really. My barometer was my chest. If my chest hurt, I knew something was amiss. Not so unusual, really. But I really suffered over this because my mother was so critical and judgmental. But then there were those who visited me from a very young age and taught me all the things that my mother couldn’t teach me. So I had this support system from beyond that helped me. And I’ve been helped through this Earthly experience ever since. I talked about and drew pictures of Utah – a lady with spiral arms. I learned I couldn’t really talk about this without getting in trouble. I was around 6 years old. I saw and talked to dead people and saw balls of lights in our home. There was a painting of Jesus at the foot of my bed and it talked to me and I talked back. When I was really, really little I could move sunbeams around on the ceiling or the walls of my room. Then I shut everything off for many, many years, after I saw the spaceship in the back yard. It wasn’t that it made me afraid – it didn’t at all. It was just that I thought that I might be institutionalized. My mother said several times, “Well, maybe we just need to take you somewhere and get this all straightened out.” YIKES! I have an implant in my right ear which is very useful. I’ve lost 40% of hearing in that ear but gained this ultra sensitive hearing on a level that others cannot hear. I suspect I hear on a different frequency. The implant almost seems alive. Like right now, talking about this, my right ear starts aching a little. And I think I received another in my left ear recently. A couple weeks ago, I awakened with a raised, red area just in front of my left year, with a line of bruising below. It was almost gone the following day. I also received what they called The Dream Guidance System. I was incubating dreams for other people at the time, and they came to me and asked me if I would like this implant and I said yes. I take all of my experiences at face value really. I have only ever felt extremely loved and cared for. I have two guides, Palendar and Amador. They’ve been with me always since the beginning – since my beginning. I also have a Raven guide which is quite interesting. My experiences have evolved over the years. I received a big download in 1999 and was told I would activate and assimilate that information at a later time when it was needed. Most of my recent experiences revolve around time and space. And they have been fun to play with. Being in multiple realities at once, being invisible, seeing my car and another car dematerialize during a car accident, objects changing form in a instant, going to deep space for a healing of my back after a car accident, and stuff and stuff. In 2007 I was guided to write all these stories down in the order I received them. I did. It took me two years. Then in 2009, I was guided to tell these stories in my own voice. And I did that. But there were a lot of stories I didn’t include on YouTube because I thought they were too far out. I was a little afraid I would “alienate” my family and some friends. But I’m over that now, recently. So I am gathering together more stories to tell. I love being here. I am so surprised to find so many people here that are around my age. To me, it’s all good. Each day I anticipate a wonderful surprise, something out of the ordinary. Many Blessngs to you ALL, Kim
I’ve always felt it had a higher purpose. Also, I think on some level there is consent when meeting these beings. To open the door to these beings, as it turned out for me was not something I feel consciously that I consented to but on some soul level if you will, I think we, that is to say, the light orb awareness being that is us, is a part of it and not only part but on the same page with the so called abductors. It seems to me they can ‘regulate’ truth. I don’t how else to describe it. To qualify each statement I should say, this is the screen memory or the implanted memory they have given me! What’s yours? I regard much of what I recall even now with a grain of salt. I know something real happened but I don’t trust the memory entirely just because its that same feel of a dream state memory. We’re in another altered state and when the light moves in close at least for me it is always overly emotional and a tear jerking or sobbing moment where great presence is felt. Something very real and very powerful has moved in and not only been seen but felt, and heard that just overwhelms your body system.
Most of my memory is based on my experience so I don’t try to rely on another. I remember once being in my bedroom in WV growing up. I was maybe ten years old if that. It was after school, I was playing on my bed both with the cat and some toy my brother had left there and my brother was on his bed which was directly to the east of me. Our beds sat east west with the foot of each bed touching. It was a small room but we managed. Suddenly out of no where I burst into tears. I felt at the same time something on my shoulder. My brother said he saw a shadow behind me. My mom came in and wanted to know what was wrong. I said I had no idea! I just couldn’t help it I had to cry and couldn’t stop it! My mom called my aunt Clara, her sister, also a nun, one of two of her sisters that were nuns. Clara was known for being a healer and wise. She asked me if it came on like a sneeze. I found that very exact. It just came. Like a sneeze yes. She said someone that died touched me.
She told me this and my mother. The next day at that or at around the time I burst into tears my dads best friend Olly killed himself over learning that he had cancer. I believe to this day Olly who was very close to all of us, came by and was that shadow being behind me that my brother saw. When he touched me I burst into tears from the overwhelm. This is almost exactly what was taking place in that light in the pic I posted in my avatar. That pic is out of the center of the roll the one before and after are fine and my wife is in one standing in the same spot. The light can be seen only in mine. Its on the negative also. I felt this. Its why I wanted the picture. I could see it there and others didn’t. If you stood there long enough on the edge of the grand canyon where that pic of me was shot in the 80s you could feel the charge and it would make you cry. The Indians felt this very easily because they walked bare foot all the time. Walking with no blinder on their feet they marked a lot of the hot spots for us. This is a known out look and holy spot in Arizona where anomaly occurs regularly. I don’t think think these nature spirits contact us by accident. I think they care for us but in some ways others see us as property. The vessel per say, isn’t really ours. Its like we leased an ego experience in it.
I imagine it like this. We are in a classroom learning about tones and music. To better appreciate the universal tones of music each one taking the class must first view the organic experience. Sold as a one time deal that is very inexpensive and only 20 minutes. So looking over the available experiences we can partake of to better understand music one comes back as a master violin player. Or a master guitarist or something such as this. They birth, the live, the learn, the grow, they die, and the experience is over they go back to the now with the experience of a master violin player for one better perspective of music and it only took 20 minutes even tho it felt like a life time of experience.
In another class one may be wanting to better understand over indulgence or addiction or other such things. Each experience is contracted, each one depending on needs for the experience to pass the class takes different levels of learning that amount to plus or minus in the way of life expectancy. Anyway, this is kinda what it looks like to be you taken from your vessel temporarily with a forced astral projection where some other being has you by your astral shoulders so to speak and is in complete control of where you go, how fast and when or if it stops! Like we are property. We have so much freedom but only within the contract of the experience for our need apparently.