After the incodent, I had told my family what happened and started to document everything that I can think of past to present. My recollection of events I found it hard to sort out my dream world from my reality. The initial shock of enlightenment had made my world mucky. This made me question myself, stress, I became anxious and consumed with panic. after studying my notes things have become more clear, as to what I know happened.
What could be so shocking? What even could sent me into PTSD? ….My story starts in the middle.
white static and then a glow as if I had fallen into an abyss of light, where nothing exists. I feel, fuzzy, my mind is still. No intuition or inner monolog, no thoughts or emotions. Alost as if I’ve been reset or just heavily drugged. No muscle in my body had strength to move nor a neurological command to move it. Then there is this glow of yellow. My vision begins to focus and a tall, skinny golden-lucid figure appears. Beautiful, graceful, peaceful angelic. Swiftly as if my sight turned into a photo negative a flash of black and purple. I’m in the meadow. The grain is calm the sky darkens more than normal and the winds pick up. A storm is rolling in. My breath escapes me and I wake up.
this dream was the beginning. The first one I had had in years. It had been a good 5 years since I had last visited the meadow. Something had changed. I had always been there after the storm never before. Such a powerful experience. I was taken back by the difference this time. I had met an angel.
I felt odd after I woke. For a long time there was an absence of my voice in my head. Instead someone else spoke to me. Fed me thoughts that were never my own. Every time he spoke I felt attached, fell in love. It didn’t feel new. It felt like home. Oddly enough this movie it my head felt firmiliar, like I have loved it for a long time.
I questioned my sanity. I was in love with an angel, who talked to me and wispered secrets. It’s hard not to trust your own feelings. If you can’t even rely on trusting your own senses how can you trust anyone else?
It’s odd, this puppy love feeling, felt so firmiliar. Now I love my husband. He is the one person on this earth that I absolutely can not live without. I fully believe he is my other half that Plato describes in symposium. When he touches me I feel as if I am filled with static. My stomach bunches and my skin becomes electric. Every fiber of my being craving yet enjoying every touch. He is who my heart beats for. Still I wonder who is this angel who’s voice fills my head? Who knows me down to my dna…
about a month passes until I return to the meadow. This time I am not alone.
my fingers are entangled in his. He is soft warm and strong. The storm has rolled in but it is the calm before. It is getting dark but the ground seems to create it’s own light as if all the plants are made of stars. We run naked though the meadow as Adam and eve did through the garden of eden. Playfully we peak out of the grain to one another, until we are joyfully rolling about, weaved around eachother. My skin is electric and every fiber is waiting for what it craves. I glide my finger tips over his skin, toned and tethered to shapely muscles. The firmilarity to the situation relaxes me. Although I am excited and anxious for what comes next. my senses are hightened, every touch, every breath is 1000x stronger. I get goose bumps as his lips skid across the nape of my neck. My hands hold on to his hips as the temperature rises. And the clouds release the rain.
as much as I enjoy my husband and I together in intimate moments… we have never had anything as empowering as that had felt. The vibrations that this being gave off felt like my husbands energy…. but if I dare say it was god like. As much as I want it to be my husband I know it wasnt, and as much as I knew it wasn’t, I wished it felt less real.
At this point in time my home life was crazy. My husband and I had opposite schedules with work I worked over 100 hours a week starting before he got home and coming home just after he left. So even though the incodent felt so real and I had myself convinced I had messed up and cheated on him I tried to just brush it off because of how outragious it seemed. I told myself it is all in my head. It tried telling myself it was my mind trying to tell me I’m too stressed and need to get laid.
over the next few weeks I would periodically as my husband questions. Subtle hints to see if he remembers a passionate night in the meadow. Puzzled he finally asks me why I have suddenly become so interested in a “night in the meadow”…. so I told him my dream and showed him a positive pregnancy test.
He chalked it up to be a coincidence and my body’s intuition, hormones and so on. Overall he was just so extremely happy to be a daddy.
I’m overwhelmed. There is so many thoughts and emotions. Coincidence? No such thing, everything happens for a reason.
this is when my memory became wishy washy. I’m not sure if I was so overloaded my mind just blocked it out … but it would take another incodent for me to snap back.
I returned to the meadow about four months later.
the being is there with me, combing his fingers though my hair as I look klthe reflection in the stream. A soft glow of yellow reflects off my cheek and shows well in the trickling water. I go to look for his eyes in the reflection and everything turns white. I’m paralyzed falling in the abysd. I can’t think. I’m panicing. I’m awake and becoming more aware of my surroundings.
It is a circular room am standing in a little alcove along the wall there are others in these little bays all around the room. The air is opaque as if we are in a cloud but there is not moisture. The is no glass in front of me but I feel as if I am trapped in a box. A violet light is shining on the other side of my imprisonment. Suspended just over this height is a green orb. I am panicked I pinch myself a few times, just to make sure
I am most definitely awake tears well up inside of me and I just want to scream. But before I even attempt to do so I feel an over welding sense of relief. I feel calm, relaxed and something brushing up and down my thigh. I glance down to see and what I saw amazes me.
standing no taller than three feet a very lucid transparent but with a blue aura is this being. It’s voice inside my head telling me it’s okay. It’s my doctor. There is something wrong and they have been trying to fix it for a long time. I’m shockingly calm and at peace. I look over this creature as it strokes the longest of its fingers across my bare skin. It’s head elongated then flopped back like it had deflated slightly. Big black almond shaped eyes, three fingers; two short with a long middle. I knew I would not be harmed.
this high octave tone pierced through the air as an aura of red came into view. I was hit with a strong vibration force as a massive being about five or six feet tall, very solid, extremely bulky entered the space. And communicated with the doctor. It seemed hostile towards my little blue friend as if it were upset that I am awake. The doctor began to make a clicking noise that repelled the red one away.
I become overwhelmed once more . The Dr turned his attention once more towards the light. The green orb that is suspended began to grow, from the size of a marble to the size of a softball. I’m curious. Telepathically he told me go on touch it. I moved really and reached out toward the orb.
its like a waterbaloon but firmer becoming fairly transparent I can see some kind of movement just under the surface. I get this oddly firmiliar feeling as if I know what it is. Two little hands scrape across the surface. One finger at a time the hands become more viable pushing further oUT of the orb. Wrapping little fingers around my ring fingers…. I panic and without thinking I try to crush The orb but it’s like jelly and sinks around my hands. Startled I toss it and fall back into the alcove. I watch as the off flies round and passes into my body s if my skin doesn’t exist. Phased into me seemingly like some for of osmosis. I put my hands on my stomach screaming now, trying anything I can to pull it back out. The room goes white and I fall on to my bed jolting myself awake and into a full on anxiety attack.
it was then I realized I’ve been abducted by aliens. They were not just a dream. There where illusions to hide my abductions. There is something more to my memories than what I had even realized. How long had this been going on? Why? Why me? What’s wrong with me?