3-15-15

The Earliest Events

When I was just three months old my mother left my 3 year old brother & I with an alcoholic father who didn’t seem to really know what to do with or how to treat little children. We were left in the hands of strangers mostly..traveling from one house to another and in more than a couple of these homes we experienced physical & mental abuse.. I tell you this not for sympathy but to set a stage for the many times I will say..I don’t know exactly who I was with or exactly when it was (some things are very foggy)..I dont want to make this about abuse, but it does play into later years and the mind control question..In any event in keeping with the topic.

From the years of about 3-7, I experienced a sleep paralysis in which I knew I was awake..being watched and floating to the ceiling. I am not sure exactly how many times this happened, but many, and a few that I remember vividly. I was very small and my brother and I shared a bed. The bed was by a window and just off the living room where the TV was..We used to try see in the windows of the neighbor across the street to see if we could see the TV in their house and try to sync the tiny picture with the sound coming out of the living room, so we could watch TV without letting anyone know because we were supposed to be sleeping..One night the moon was out and huge..but it started moving toward me getting larger and larger.. I can remember being mesmerized by it..The next thing I know, before I could even tell my brother I am laying on what seemed like a very small table, but in the middle of the living room that moments ago had a TV being watched by one of our caretakers at the time. I say it was a small table because my body kind of hung over the edges, or that is how I perceived it (or there was no table at all). The room was washed in blue light and seemed foggy or misty ( I have experienced this same blue light much later in life when I awoke to something trying to pull me from my bed)..and I knew that there were what I thought were people in the room with me though this time I did not see anyone but could feel them by me..there were no words spoken but I perceived them speaking to each other. In This particular event I felt as though I were rising while I simultaneously felt bigger and bigger but lighter & lighter as if I were maybe a balloon being blown up..I vividly remember my tongue feeling huge and starting to be scared..Last I remember of this scene was feeling like I had taken over the whole room..

This sleep paralysis event happened quite a few times in the early years..The ones I can remember had what seemed to be small variances, like instead of feeling large and filling the room, I instead felt as though I were shrinking and so very tiny that would be able to fit through a crack in the ceiling. Every Time the paralysis happened I could feel the presence of someone/ something in the room and once I made out two very large shadowy beings that were extremely tall..I remember being totally petrified during the paralysis and remembering it the next day and thinking the shadowy beings were giraffes.

Because of our living situation the events over a couple of years took place in different houses and with different caretakers. There literally was no one to tell and quite honestly during my childhood I felt I had much bigger things to worry about.

I also want to note that the story of Alice & Wonderland comes to mind with the growing larger & shrinking paralysis episodes. This being a common theme in Mind Control has not gone unnoticed.