Some years back, maybe 15 years ago, I remember being brought back after I had been out and during this visit I was shown a child and I knew it was mine. I remember consciously saying that I wanted to remain in contact with the child I understood that the child could not live here with me and it was explained to me that whenever I consciously thought of the child I would see him in my minds eye and I always did and still do, I have seen the child grow at different stages through his life. I would always send him love. Sometimes it was hard not to think about him when I was sad or lonely, I didn’t want to burden him with the sadness of this world. He used to wear a type of gown that was white with gold brocade around the neck, but just recently he has started wearing blue, he is excited and now I get the sense that he is able to physically interact in my life in some way and that he is closer now, I always felt he was far away before. He has jet black hair not like my daughter or me, more like my mother. I was thinking last night how nice it would be for him to meet my daughter, his sister… such a nice thought. But I’m sure they have met already and will be great friends.
About the Author: Deedoh
Born in Ireland in 1966, I arrived in Melbourne, Australia before my first birthday. I'm from a large extended family where experiences were never openly spoken about although hinted at, and I'm sure I am not the only one in my family that has had experiences. I have been aware of other elements of our so called reality since I was very young, things people didn't talk freely about. I feel compelled to learn more about my own experiences and that of others in order to understand and prepare myself for what is to come. I'm very easy going, I have always been interested in learning but felt like a square peg in a round hole when I was younger and found the school limiting and so rebelled. As a mature student, I and currently working on my Master in Research within a social science field and planning to do a doctorate after. Although now as an adult I wish I had of done maths and physics they look so much more interesting to me now. I was interested in art when I was younger but that wasn't really encouraged as a career path, I just needed a creative outlet.