I am so very grateful for this compassionate and safe community. It is because of a few kind words and a link posted to another member… I was able to remember why I couldn’t remember the 11th year of my life. It didn’t seem important till I started my journey to document my Contact Experiences.

I am very grateful for my Contact. The same Off-World Being has been a mentor to me for more than a number of lifetimes, our experiences always positive and I am certain has saved my life more than a few times.

High Strangeness indeed. How does anyone who has a great memory, who remembers details accurately from a tiny age forget nearly an entire year of their life? Apparently that answer could well be Reverse Engineering or understanding REAL off-world contact or… both.

Missing time, you say? Nope. Not in the traditional sense as in real Contact with off-world beings. Yes. Definitely missing memory but not “Off-World Being” induced. Missing memory, till now.

We had just moved from San Jose, California… and were living in Los Angeles in 1970 for less than 4 months at that point. I was 11 years old, middle-class, clean cut kid who’ father was in Naval Intelligence, mother a secretary. School was close enough to walk to. That’s about all I remember, till last night.

It was a two story school and about every other class was racing up and down the steps to the next class so as not to be late. One day just after getting into a class and settling in, the teacher looks up at the door, excuses herself from class long enough to peek her head out the door then while still holding the door open a crack signals to me to with her finger gesturing to come to her. She stands on the classroom side of the door and asks, ‘do you know why men in uniform would be asking for you?’ in a whisper. I told her that my dad was away in Vietnam… and as my voice trails off I stepped through the door and entered hell.

Taking me by the arm rather too firmly we start walking towards the school exit. I am scared as hell, petrified that they want to wait till we are outside to give me news like “Your dad won’t be coming home.” The three officers wore a simple greenish-to-brownish uniform said nothing and walked me towards the door. I started crying, “Please just tell me… is it my dad?” Two flanking me down the long school hallway halfway to the exit doors holding my arms firm enough that it hurts. My mind is racing “please don’t let it be bad news… please don’t let it be….” when the third jumps in front of us and sprays something in my face. I never saw how we got out the door, everything went black.

When I came to… I am standing in a white room just off a hallway, but it’s NOT school. The walls are strange like they are not flush. They bowed outward a bit giving them a very surreal sci-fi, futuristic look. I look around and wonder why I feel woozy and my hearing is more an echo than I ever remember. This scares me to death. “How’d I get here?” “Where am I?” I glance to my right and there is an adjoining room. In it are three men sitting at an oval shaped white colored table in navy blue uniforms with “bars and stars.” A fourth man is youngish looking and blonde in a suit. I say youngish, he’s not a boy but probably had ‘boyish’ looks his whole life.

Suddenly the wall moves from right to left and closes off the “bars n stars” and the blonde in an instant. Another door opens to my left and in walks a man in what looks like a “spacesuit.” The spacesuit is white and looks one-piece, the head-gear has a tinted visor, even the hands are covered. Now another man walks in through the same door to the left of me wearing exactly the same thing and they are very slowly walking up to me. I am so petrified I back into a corner of the room and yell “Don’t you come near me!” One of them tries to speak to me. He says in a falsetto voice that I can TELL right off the bat isn’t his normal voice, saying really slowly “My name is GOR-FON.” I started yelling “Who are YOU?” “No you’re NOT!” He looks at his buddy who saying nothing who also is saying nothing and says in his fake voice that they are from a “Faraway planet that I may not have heard of,” and then start saying “You know your friend you were with in his ship… we have met him before on another planet and we were wondering…..” and I just cut them off at the pass saying, “WHO ARE YOU?” and “No you DIDN’T!” “Liars!” “Liars!”

I know that what he is saying isn’t true and I just keep telling them to stay away from me. Yelling it, actually The wooziness and all this high strangeness makes me wonder if I am not giving them the benefit of the doubt that maybe they do know Him. Scared and determined I walk right up to the one who has been speaking to me to see if I can see his face and through the tinted visor I see exactly what he is: a normal human man. Now I begin screaming louder “What is THIS?!!” “What is THIS?!!” over and over again. As these spacesuit guys ask questions who are obviously NOT from another planet and are even faking their voice… I come unhinged, screaming, “WHO ARE YOU?…WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU?” The one who has been talking lunges with an arm extended towards me and I jump back screaming in a succession of “AHHHH! AHHHH! AHHH! AHHH!” over and over. The drugged state, the military presence, the fake aliens, and I am coming unhinged screaming the same sounds over and over “AHHH! AHHHH! AHHH!” He looks like he can barely maintain his composure and wants to hit me. It seems like a nightmare. But its very real.

Now even more high strangeness: with all the screaming my “clarity of mind” is coming back more. I can see through the wall with the automated door and as I continue screaming the blonde looks over at the three admirals? (we’ll just call them bars n’ stars & a blonde given how they treat children) the blonde is trying to ‘smile’ at the bars n’ stars but the uniformed ones just look back at the blonde with a scowling look of “I think you’ve lost your footing, dear.”

I keep thrashing around the room using my scream as a weapon and SUDDENLY the wall opens up and one of the bars n’ stars yells “ENOUGH!” The two fake “aliens run from the room back out the door to the left they came in, but not till after the one who spoke (who is now losing his patience) swipes his arm in front of me like he would still grab me and harm me… I look at the men still seated in the adjoining room who had been listening the whole time start yelling again but my voice is almost gone, ‘WHO ARRRRRRRE YOUUUUUUU!!!? I don’t see it coming but I FELT it: a needle in my thigh and everything goes black again.

I still have no memory of how I got home or when I did get there or when that happened. Everything is blanked out after that… At some point I remember my mom taking me to a Doctor to find out how I got drugged, what was used, was there long term effects, etc. She kept me out of school for some days, I just don’t know how long… and when I returned, for weeks other kids would ask me, as we past each other up and down the halls and stairs between classes, “WHO WERE THOSE MEN IN UNIFORM?” Those questions went on from classmates for more than 3 months.

As I remember all this for the first time in 45 years the anger wells up and so do the tears. I contacted someone here at our “safe haven” to thank them by email for THIS ARTICLE (here):


A HUGE Thank You to Melinda Leslie, the author: whether she will ever know or not, HER DRAWINGS
(at the above link’ page, lower right corner…) were what actually triggered my loss of memory of that horrible experience.

So like I said I was emailing someone here to express my grief over such betrayal from so-called “authoritative figures.” I get a response back (and I hope they don’t mind I do this) but I wanted to share that as well….

“Hello Nin . . . over the years I have discovered that sons and daughters of Military personell often become subjects for MILABS/REABS.

Apparently, at least a part of it, is that our Military are desperate to gain some understanding about WHAT is going on. They know that children and others are being taken and interacted with for various reasons and some of those reasons seem to be ongoing multiple-life contracts.

Ultimately — all of the present ‘Powers That Be’ whether they be the MIC, the government or the secret government have one overriding concern. They intuitively know that they are ABOUT TO LOOSE ALL OF THEIR AUTHORITY AND POWER and this has them in a desperate stew trying to scramble around and prevent that ‘horror’ from overtaking them.

They are being ‘phased out’ from their former roles

This ‘fear’ on their part is due to their very limited ‘tunnel-vision.’ They completely fail to see the incredible possiblities and potential which is standing right in front of them

They are trying desperately to control public opinion about the UFO/ETI phenomena — and go back to a former, less complicated naivete with which they feel ‘comfortable’ . . . but . . . meantime, the ETs themselves are increasingly contacting the public directly — going completely around the military. This makes them jealous as hell and diminishes their long traditional self-image as ‘National Defenders’ and ‘Gatekeepers.’ Hence, the crude and heavy-handed false-flag ‘Military Abductions’ trying to grill by force those that they know have had genuine ET contact.

Peace to you Nin — and I am very glad that this has helped trigger your memories and further unveiled your experiences. I think all of our experiences are very very deeply rooted into our minds and souls and will be unfolding into our conscious recognition and understanding from now on…”


I read this mail through tears in gratitude and LAUGH! Because I have been saying for years based on decades of abusive behavior by a highly secretive Cabal (of which I will go into more in-depth analysis in upcoming posts,) that people like myself (multiplied by thousands? millions?) had to suffer such horrific human rights abuses and that it all boiled down to:

I now needed a smoke. I walked outside to sit under the stars, sat instead on the porch and feeling a HUGE paradigm shift… and from the email just kept repeating “I have been saying it was jealousy for YEARS… and really thought I was the only one that saw it that way…till now. Weeping in gratitude…

I look up and there is light going through the pines, I look a second time in hope it was my mentor Being wanting to let me know he’s right there… I look again but the bright light never passed in a linear way through the pines (like a plane from the airport…) I get up to take a closer look.. the “object” that was fixed between the trees (stationary and not moving in a constant velocity like a plane would) turns its light out… almost faster than my eyes can register that its another flash of light, which comes downward to a stand of tall trees next to the house…….
A crackling low-pitched scratchy sounding voice is phonetically making sounds words and says:

“We hurt too… We hurt too Mah, We hurt too”
“I hope when you get home Mah ,You (will) look at bigger picture too”
You are not alone Mah” “I know Mah, I know Mah…”

As he talks I answer him in between his words thanking him.. then said “I promise to walk tall …when I do return home…and I promise I will look at the bigger picture then too, thank you.. thank you.”

he says “Have to go back now”…..

If I hadn’t been looking right at it I would have missed it all:
A LARGE and PERFECTLY ROUND FLAT LIGHT WITH WAVES GOING THROUGH ITS MIDDLE SHOOTS STRAIGHT UP INTO THE PINES, the lights go back on the ship hovering up in the tall stand of pines next to my house and takes off upward at a perfect 45 degree angle gone in less than two seconds.

I haven’t had a visit in years.
I am so grateful.
Just when I thought I was so alone…
I was shown how there isn’t anything that happens here that gets past THEIR radar.