It dawned on me after writing my last blog entry that, as I suspected, there is no way Ill be able to write my experiences in any kind of chronological order)..Not only because some are connected to things that have happened much later in life, but because somehow my doing it this way is lacking..I’m not sure but it feels too much like a list…so Ill just have to go with the flow and write experiences as things come to mind. I should have just followed that initial instinct..:)
One of the things I wanted to write about today is… How do you feel? We all say that during our experiences we we’re either scared senseless or the other end of the spectrum feeling an overwhelming feeling of love..But what I am talking about is the over all feeling about your experiences. I have mostly felt confusion and a deep sense of helplessness. I have never seen a solid being or remember being on a craft (Though I have seen one and watched it for a long time)..I have had missing time.. run ins with Shadow beings and once I woke to something, that I could not see, pulling me right out of my bed. I have woken with scars, scratches, scoop marks, bruises, burns, eye burns and puncture wounds. I have found my underwear on inside out and backwards and have even had my hair cut while I slept. As I said I have had run ins with shadow people, woke up from a sleep going about 5 miles an hour while driving on a highway., so you can imagine my frustration at never consciously being able to face the entities, forces or beings that I yet feel so connected to. I could live with that and never question if it were just about me, but my biggest frustration lies in that I feel I have a duty to pass on the truth..which I know is **Things are Not What we have been Told**..but then..What is the truth?
I don’t want to be a real downer or for you to think I’m maudlin, I’m not..My life turned out fun..or maybe amusing is a better word, and in spite of the nature of my experiences..I cherish every one of them. So if you don’t mind my asking..How do you really feel?..In relationship to the world.?.Do you feel your experiences have anything to do with the current state of the world and humans as a whole? Do you feel it as a personal journey, or do you feel like legion? As humans are we just coming into our own, or are we just pawns pieces in a game of Grand Deception?